He Is We
by heartlandiansoisle
Summary: "I'm leaving. When I come back, I don't wanna see you here." Caleb x Ashley. Set after 7x10. One-shot.


"Baby, the rehearsal dinner is starting any minute now. Can't you just powder your nose any faster?" Andy's voice reaches me through the door. I sit on the toilet, staring down and waiting, letting his words run through my head. I wait a little while longer and then - there it is. Two red lines. Just as I feared. I cover my face with my hand and sigh, trying to silence the sound coming out of my mouth. My face turns into one big pucker as I try to hold back the cry.

"Ash? Are you okay in there?" Andy asks again.

"Y-yeah, I'll be right there", I try to get a grip. I'm expected to stand next to Andy tonight, as his soon-to-be-wife. Smile and greet his relatives, while making sure Jesse and mother know how to behave. This should be the happiest time of my life, but instead I'm totally confused. I've just left Hudson behind me for good, but now I don't know if I really have after all.

Is this baby inside me Andy's or Caleb's?

I toss the pregnancy test to the trash can and cover it with few sheets of toilet paper, so no one would see it. I wash my hands and towel them dry. I know that when I will tell the news to Andy, he will be overjoyed, because he's always wanted kids, but I… I am even more torn than before. My lies just keep piling up and I don't see a way out.

I press my cold hands against my cheeks and look at myself from the mirror. Who even am I? Do I even know this person I have become? Is this still me?

And who will I become?

"One Café frappé to go, please", I give the young waitress the order and smile at her politely. I check her name and see she's called Georgie. It's weird to be back here at Maggie's after all this time. Not everything is as it used to be: I notice I don't know the names of the meals people are ordering these days or how to use the brand new coffee maker. But the tack and feed section is still located at the back of the building and people are still meeting friends over dinner - those are the things that have not changed.

"Here's your change, I'll be right back with your coffee", Georgie says and hands me coins with the receipt.

"Thank you", I nod, but hold onto the money.

"Ashley…?"

There's a familiar voice and I turn around. It's Caleb. Few years older, but still looking pretty much the same.

"Hello, cowboy", it comes out of me automatically and I top the greeting with a friendly smile, trying to get a feel of what he's thinking. He comes closer, not believing his eyes. I notice he's smiling, so I guess it's okay to go in for a hug.

"Haven't seen you in years", he says and I feel his voice taking my breath away. It sounds exactly as soft and sweet as it did before. As I lay my eyes back on him, I take time to think what I'm going to say.

"Yeah, well I wasn't planning on coming back", I tell him and notice some form of regret in his eyes. He nods a little as his smile drops. "So, how you've been?"

"I've been good, thanks. Business is booming, I have my own place now. No more of that crappy trailer or the loft. Like I actually own a house", he says and chuckles.

"Oh, wow, that's amazing", I congratulate him.

"What about you?" he asks and I sense a pause, which I think comes from the fact that he's not sure if he wants to actually know. So I decide to keep it brief.

"I'm good. Still in Vancouver, still in law school", I list.

"Didn't realize that thing could take so long", he is surprised.

"Yeah, well, there were few things I had to do before starting, so…" I shrug.

He nods, but is afraid to ask more.

"So, what brings you to Hudson then?" he wants to kill his curiosity. My face turns serious.

"Mother", I say first, letting the uncomfortable feeling settle in. "She passed away."

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry", he says and puts his hand on my shoulder. I nod, thanking him for his condolences. "How are you doing?"

"I could be worse, I guess. We knew it would happen. – It was the cancer. It relapsed", I tell him. He knows my mom's history with the sickness and how she was cancer free for years. But then, last year she was diagnosed again. It hit me hard, but she tried to be so brave right till the end.

"That's just…" he's out of words and just shakes his head. "So… the funeral's here or…?"

"No, she was already cremated but she wanted her ashes to be spread here", I speak. Caleb nods. "So, Jesse and Andy are waiting for me in the car. Just had to go and get some coffee, for old time's sake, you know", I crack a faint smile.

"Andy, huh? So… that's still going?" Caleb asks. He hasn't forgotten his name, I see. I nod awkwardly.

"Yeah. We are married. Have been for few years now", I tell him. He knew there was a possibility of that happening, because of our last encounter, but still he seems surprised. I guess part of him wished that I would never get over him and get married to anyone else, because I told him I loved him. Part of me still does, very much.

"That's great", he says and I can't help but think how genuine his words really are. I still accept the compliment and smile.

"Yeah", I nod.

"Here's your coffee, miss", Georgie's voice says and I turn around.

"Oh, thank you", I said and slip her back the coins. "Here's a tip. I know how much it can mean to you."

"Thank you", she flashes a wide smile and it reveals her braces and dimples.

"Don't mention it", I wave my hand. "So… anyway. It was nice to see you again, Caleb. We should catch up sometime."

"Yeah, absolutely", he says, but both of us know that it's not going to happen. It's just something people say. "Good luck with the school."

"Thanks. And good luck with your business", I say to him.

"Thanks", he smiles for the last time.

I turn my head and search something. A glimpse of curly blond hair and I know he's just within my sight.

"Come on, Casey, let's go", I tell him. He runs to me and presses his tiny body against my legs. I don't even want to look at Caleb, because I know what he's thinking. I have a kid? "Did you find anything nice, sweetie?"

"I found a real cowboy hat!" he tells me.

"You did?" I laugh and walk with him to the door. I'm pretty sure that Caleb looks after us. And if he'd walk to the window, he would notice how Andy gets out of the car, pulls Casey into his lap and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

He would also notice that Andy has black hair and brown eyes. Unlike Casey.


End file.
